Idiotblue's diary

MOndAy

2005-10-24T18:23:00.000+09:00

monday come again. I wonder why weekend seems to pass by so fast and week days go so slow like years. Went to class as usual today. First and second class was okay. Third class,industrial organic chemistry was fine too. But when it came to the last class...Industrial Inorganic Chemistry...the lecturer sort of made me feel like going out from the class. He's not really annoying or what. Just too boring and i couldn't figure out what was he taking about. I found that it's he speaks korean without open his mouth widely like other koreans. Perhaps that's why. However, there's still something that caught my attention in this class.The thing is, i am always trying to observe real carefully to check out whether the lecturer's eyes are open. His eyes are really really chinky. It's not that i want to make fun of him or what. He's a good lecturer, i mean good in chemistry maybe, not really in teaching. Hum...I was listening for the first hour, but i couldn't pay any attention to him for the second. I drew on the table. hehe...
Kinda cold too today. I guess i caught a cold. But seems like my antibody is so strong,i am almost fully recovered. cooked kalkuksu for my dinner, i mean lunner justnow. I wanted to eat rice but still end up with eating noodles today.
I bought shopaholic -confession yesterday. Wanna finish shopaholic- and sister first before i start another book. seems interesting!:) I saw a book entitled "the alchemist" too in the bookstore. Read the synopsis. quite interesting, the story seems to be kinda similiar to The Little Prince. Wanted to buy it but thought of reading shopaholic first so i didn't.
Got another letter from my best friend syidah today. She seems to miss me so badly. hum...i miss her alot too. Sometimes, i really think that i couldn't find another friend like her.I guess i'll write her a letter very soon.

That's all for monday. Oh yea! simple plan's song.:) It's right below. I love it!enjoy the mv.

simple plan...im just a kid

2005-10-21T20:27:00.000+09:00

Music Code & Free Video Hosting by Music-Code.com

I woke up it was seven
Waited till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think ive got a lot of friends but I dont hear from them
Whats another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own

And here it goes

Chorus:
Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid I know that is not fair
Nobody cares
Cuz im alone and the world is having more fun than me

And maybe when the night is dead
Ill crawl into my bed
Staring at these four walls again
Ill try to think about the last time
I had a good time
Everyones got somewhere to go
And there gonna leave me here on my own

And here it goes

Chorus:
Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid I know that is not fair
Nobody cares
Cuz im alone and the world is having more fun than me

What the fuck is wrong with me dont fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me
Wide awake im bored and i cant fall asleep
And everynight is the worst night ever

Im just a kid
Im just a kid
Im just a kid
Im just a kid
Im just a kid

Chorus:
Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid i know that its not fair
Nobody cares cuz im alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid i know that its not fair
Nobody cares cuz im alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cuz im alone and the world is having more fun than me

Tonight im all alone
Tonight nobody cares
Tonight
Cuz im just a kid tonight

yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

2005-10-21T18:02:00.000+09:00

Finished exam at about 12 pm. Went to eat jajangmyeon with Kc,Liyan, and Wen. It’s been quite sometimes since we last hang out together like this. Well! Exam is finally over. We went to norebang (karaoke?) right after lunch for about 3 hours, or maybe more than that. It’s half price if you go in day time. 6000won per hour and usually you can get about 30 minutes extra. Shout for 3 hours by paying 3000 won each! Heheheh. I was sort of exhausted after that. But still, I feel like singing now. Not enough!!! What’s wrong with me anyway!
Rained. It’s getting cold here. Everything seems to be so cold around. Quiet little gochok-dong, seems to be slowly slipping into autumn’s silence. Well! That’s what I imagine. It’s not really that quiet after all. Korean still hang out drinking till 4~5 in the morning. I hate the cold weather. It makes me feel sleepy and lazy to go out. Hum… Winter, please don’t come so soon. Autumn is still okay.
Reading “Shopaholic and sister”, it’s really an interesting book. Well, reading it makes me feel like traveling around the world and shopping too. Like shopping? Yea . I do. I guess every girl does like it . Talking about shopping, it’s been more than one month I didn’t buy myself anything. But since I promised myself not to buy anything in these two months, I will keep my promise. Or, I will try my best too keep it. Hum… I’ll try…
I need to call home later. It has been a while I didn’t call home. Kind of miss my family. Weekend start!!! Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo^^

say goodbye to exam!!!

2005-10-20T23:56:00.000+09:00

Tomorrow, my last exam will be at 11 am. Everything will be over after another 12 hours from now!!! Well, no body likes exam right? Or perhaps there are some people who like it. Who knows?
Autumn is here, kind of cold these days. But the leaves colour seems green still…I remembered that last year was much colder… anyway, I hate it cold. I just wish that winter will never come again because winter sucks!!! Haha…I used to imagine about winter in Malaysia. How beautiful it can be if there’s winter in Malaysia…and so on. That was before I went through the real winter. However, I can’t deny that I love snow. You see, snow is a gift from heaven. It is so … I don’t really know how to describe my feeling when I first saw snow. Perhaps it is because of the cold that we suffered that make us feel that it is beautiful. Or perhaps it is an indescribable beautiful thing.
Well, I guess I need a rest now. Before 12~good night.

무수염산제조법

2005-10-19T09:08:00.000+09:00

1.직접합성법
-H2,Cl2를 conc.H2SO4,또는 냉동(-12~-13도)에서 탈수시켜 합성한다.
-철재사용할수 있음.
2.농염산증류법
-합성염산을 불침투성인 혹연 충전탑에 넣어 1.5kg/cm3게이지압에서 가열.
-HCl가스가 발생 되어(70~80도),유출한 가스를 상부에 수냉하고,하부에 냉동시켜, HCl (50%)을 분리한다.
-무수한염산가스를 만든다.냉각 건조 후,낮은 정비점 용액은 냉각 후 다시 헙성염산가스를 흡수 시켜 30%의HCl용액으로 한다.
3.건조흡탈착법
-희박한HCl 가스
-불순한HCl 가스
=황산염과 인산염을 담체와 혼합하여,입상물을ㄹ 충전한흡수탑에 주입하여 HCl흡착시킨후 90~130도으로 가열하여 염산가스 방출.흡착생성물은CuSO4.2HCL 또는 CuCl2.H2SO4..등

염산제조 장치 재료

2005-10-18T22:00:00.000+09:00

염산합성관의 재료

1.용융석영(hard mineral crystal)-유리
2.탄소재료-karbate
~불핌투성
~수소과잉량을 주여도 안전조입 가능.
~열린도로 크다.
~팽창을 적다.
~기계적강도 크다.
2.철재
~무수염산 제조에서 사용.

염서바아너의 재료
-도기,탄소재,철제

흡수관의 재료
-도기,탄소재

Examination

2005-10-18T21:45:00.000+09:00

Exams start tomorrow.
good luck girl!!!

contact process

2005-10-18T21:34:00.000+09:00

촉매(catalyst)
-백금(Pt),바나듐(V2O5)

vanadium 의 반응
V2O5+ SO2-->V2O4+SO3
V2O4+ 2SO2+02-->2VOSO4
2VOSO4-->V2O5+SO2+SO3

촉매독
-촉매 활성 저하 시키는 물질.
-가스 부족시 촉매능력 감소 시키며 산무나
수증기는 기계장치와 작용하여 H2발생하여
촉매독 작용이 됨.
-금속화합물중에는 백금과 합금을 형성하고 HF,SiF4는 담체 부식.
-백금에는 비소가 촉매독의 작용 제일 크다.400도 ~600도정도.

접촉식에서

황--용해됨-->분무식연소로(건조공기 도입)--hot gas-->폐가스 보일러(건조공기 도입.열회수)
---->충진탑(산무제거)----->제1열교환기----제2열교환기--400도-->전화기
--600도-->제2열교환기--250도-->제1열교환기-->냉각탑--100도-->흡수탑.

glover tower

2005-10-18T21:06:00.000+09:00

glover탑의 기능

1.함질황산 탈질 - 2HOSO2ONO+H2O<---> 2H2SO4+NO+NO2
2.연실산 농축 - 노가스 열으로 증기 만들어 SO2가스와 혼합 시킴
3.노가스 냉각 - 연실에 들어가기 전에 가스 온도가 70~110도로 저하 시킴.
4.노가스 세척 - 제진실 통해 세척
5.황산 생성 - 2HOSO2ONO+SO2+2H2O--->2H2SO4NO + H2SO4(12~15%)
6.질산 환원 - NaNO3+H2SO4--->NaHSO4+HNO3

연실 개량

탑식
-연실 용적 축소 하는 목표로 만들어짐.
-연실 생략
-Glover탑과 Gay Lussac탑 대신 충진탑을 쓴다.
-내부순환(황산 생성반응)과 외부순환(질소산화물 흡수)이 있다.
장점-건설비 저렴
단점- 수리비,동력비 크다. 작업이 예민.

OPL 법
-6개 탑으로 되어 있는데 제1,2,3탑은 glover탑이고,제 4,5,6탑은 gay lussac탑으로 되어있다.
-50◦Βẽ의 황산 생성 된. 20~30kg/m3.day

g(20%황산)-g(30%황산)-g(50%황산)-gl -gl -gl

Petersen법
-제련소에서 나온 폐가스와 같이 양, 농도가 심한 SO2가스 처리 하는 목표로 연구 된것이다.
-glover탑,생성탑,gay-lussac탑으로 되어 있다.
-glover탑의 황산은 50%
-생성탑 1: 40%H2SO4
생성탑 2: 10%H2SO4
-glover탑 지름이 5ft, 생성탑은7ft,Gay lussac탑은 9ft이다.
-폐가스 사용 하는 경우 50◦ΒẽH2SO4생성 된다. 100t/d
-원료-SO2(3~8%)
질소산화물 소비량 :황산생성량의 약1%

반탑식
-->연실==petersen탑==Gay Lussac탑
>>petersen탑은 수분을 제거 하고 gay lussac탑으로 들어갈 것을 막는 역할을 한다
>>황산을 2중순환,내 외 순환 시킴.
>>glover탑에서 H2SO4생성량 증가.
>>공정전체의 변동 억제되며 간편이다.
>>65~70%자연냉각.

반탑식-탑식과 연실식의 차이점
1.SO2신속 산화됨.
2.탑식: 자연 냉각 25%
반탑식:자연냉각 65~70%
연실식:자연냉각 80%

탑식의 장단
1.용량 적다.
2.황산 순도 좋지 않는다.74~75%.
3.연실식에서 100t/d이상 생산 무리.탑식은 200t/d 이상 생산 가능
4.수선비 크다.연판 내산물로 변화되어 가하므로 조하되고 있음.
5.냉각수량 너무 많다. 동력비 크다.

H2SO4정제
- sand filter 로서 여과 제거하고 비소 등은 H2S작용 시커 sulfide로 침전 제거 한다.
- 질소산화물은 엄ㅎㄴㅍㅁ욤0.2~0.5%가하여 100도로 가열하여 분해제거.

농축
연실산-50~53◦Βẽ
탑산 60◦Βẽ
-탈수제로 농축 한다.

장치
-drum type
-진공법

Vitriol

2005-10-18T20:37:00.000+09:00

황산의 성질

1. 무색
2. 점도 크다
3. 비점=338도, 최고 농도 98.3%황산.
<100%황산 존재 하지 않는 이유:
상온에서 conc. H2SO4가 SO3가스를 방출
98.3%으로 저하된다>
4. 비중=1.8415
5. 화학적인 성질은 농도에 따라 달라짐
-dil. H2SO4++>물에서 HSO4-, H+으로 이온화 됨.
강산의 성질을 가짐.산화력이 없음.산화제로 사용.
-conc.H2SO4++>고온에서 SO3가스 방출. 산화력이
있음.건조제,탈수제,Nitration에서 질산 농축용.

황산제조장치재료

1. 규소철(Si 15%)-내산성 강.
산가열.기계장치로 쓰임.
2. 순남- 60◦Βẽ이하 황산 침식 하지 않는다.
- 불순물 있으면 장치 부식 되기 때문에
순남을 쓴다.
3. Hard Lead( Sb 15%)-내산성 강.
80◦Βẽ이상인 황산 침식 하지 않는다. 큰 강도 필요할때 쓰임.

황산제조의 재료
1.황
2.황화철광(iron pyrite)
3.자류철광(Pyrrhotite)
4.CaSO4

황 연소로

S+O2=S02+70 Kcal
SO2+ 1/2 O2= SO3+23 Kcal
*회전식 연소로 Rotary burner

*분무식 연소로 Spray burner
-장치 크다. 널리 쓰임.
-enclosed system :가압상태 유지 할수 있음
(공기건조,용융황 건조)
-공기량에 따라 온도 변화함.

황화철광 배소로

4FeS2 + 11 O2= Fe2O3+ 8 SO2 + 798 Kcal
CuS + 2 O2= Cuo + 2 SO2 + 125.99 KCal
황화철광 연소로에서 가장 좋은 온도는 썹시600~800도.
800도이상 되면 SO3방출되고 장치 부식 발생함.

-Herreshoff furnace
-Flash Roaster
-Fluidized Roaster

Flash Roaster
장점
1.배소 능력 크다.
2.소재중 산류화 남는다.
3.폐열이용.
4.저공위에서 철 처리 할수 있음.

단점
1.구조 복잡. 고장 잘 난다.
2.분쇄 동력비 크다.
3.광진 많으니 제거비 많다.
4.하부 가스통로 메꾸기 쉽다.

Fluidized Roaster
장점
1.내부 온도 균일하게 조절 잘 됨.
(생산한 산의 농도 균일)
2.교반 잘 됨으로써(반응속도 크다.
광물 처리 능력 크도.)
3.구조 간단.안에 움직이는 기계없음.
폐열 잘 됨.

단점
1.Dorr Co식에 따라 냉수로 온도 저하 시킴
으로, SO2중의 수증기 많다.
2.폐산량 5~7%

SO2정제

배소로와 glover탑사이에 제진실,hot cottrell, 장해판,cyclone등 장치 설치.

inorganic industrial chemistry

2005-10-18T19:43:00.000+09:00

염산공업
1.
Le Blanc법 초기 반응:소금의 황산분해
2NaCl + H2SO4= Na2SO4 + 2 HCl
Na2SO4+ 4C= Na2S+ 4CO
Na2S+CaCO3=NaCO3+ CaS

Solvay 법
NaCl+NH3+CO2+H2o=NaHCO3+NH4Cl
NaHCO3--->(열분해)NaCO3+H

가성화법
Na2CO3+Ca(OH)2=2NaOH+Cl2+H2O

전해가성화법(전기)
2NaCl+H2O--->2NaOH+Cl2+H2O

합성염산
Cl2+H2-->2HCl+44.12Kcal
HCl(g)+H2O(l)--->HCl(aq)+14.95Kcal

부생염산
유기합성공업등의 부산물

2.HCl의 성질

무색,투명한 자극성 기체
물에 용해, 염산 생산, 발열 하다.

표준상태의 밀도=1.639g/l
임계온도=3247K
임계압력=81.6 atm
임계밀도= 0.424g/l

*용해도는 온도에 반비례한다.
온도 상승, 용해도 강하.
*압력에 대한 HCl흡수
온도 상승, 압력 상승.
dw/dt=KA(Pg-Ps)
<-단위시간에 흡수되는 가스.
Pg=분압
Ps=증기압
Pg > Ps--흡수 진행
Pg = Ps--흡수 진행의 임계
Pg < Ps--HCL 가스 방출 됨

-blur-

2005-10-18T00:39:00.000+09:00

I can't really tell how blur am i ...cos i don't know how blur am i ~hehehe..
today i was looking for my wallet before i go out for some snacks...~ it remained "lost" for about an hour.hehehe...
I came back after snacks and started looking for it again... i thought i might have left it in the shop or drop it somewhere...~ hum... it took me quite some times to find it right in front of me under my lcd monitor.=_="
Blur blur blur...really blur ...

lost email id found....

2005-10-17T02:39:00.000+09:00

2.41 am...I lost this yahoo email ID last year. I kept trying all the IDs that i could think of but none works.I remember the password but i couldn't remember the ID for the whole year. I don't know why~ can't really figure out the reason until now. Today,unexpectedly, i remembered the ID. Thus, i tried to log in again with the password that was in my mind all these while. Finally~! successfully i logged in with my lost ID. idiot_blue74 .

It's a long time i didn't write on this page. Guess it's time for me to update my e-diary now.
Time flies...~ October fell down from nowhere..so fast.. The atmosphere of my first day in korea seems like yesterday...still fresh in my mind...

back in reality

2005-09-05T17:30:00.000+09:00

i was back in korea on 30 august 2005. unforgettable night cos it was my first time to take such a long flight. my sack was miss-sent to somewhere else that night~

2005-08-07T11:09:00.000+09:00

i worked for the first time ever in my whole life yesterday.it was like the longest day i ever spent because the time was like staying still at 2 pm 2 pm 2pm ....hum... what can i say? new experience? yea it was. today i am going to work again. how i wish i can make the time pass faster today. if i have extraodinary power. that will be the best thing that ever happen to me..i will make the time pass as fast as i want. hum.... and stop whenever i want tooi...hehheh..but i know thats imposible...
how to make time pass faster???first of all, not thinking about the tme too much or looking at our watch or at any clock looking at it repeadtedly makes time look longer.
Try concentrating a lot on things, or just lightly think about better stuff when it's boring

2005-06-23T09:56:00.000+09:00

good luck girl~^^

2005-06-22T07:32:00.000+09:00

good luck gurl...

=_+~ bad dinnner...

2005-06-08T22:39:00.001+09:00

yesterday 지도 교수님took us for dinner. But it wasn't a good one for me since they ordered living octopus?i don't know what it is....anyway they killed it infront of me...i couldn't eat that. HOw could i?=_+~ it's like i was the one octopus in the hot water... i felt that.=_+~ it was really in pain and..a few seconds ago it was a living thing but a few second later it couldn't even move...What if i was the octopus..? =_+~ it's imposible for me to eat it.

exam is near, study mode~^^

she's so lucky

2005-06-01T20:51:00.000+09:00

she's a lucky girl. hehe..anyone wanna buy lotto? or toto? haha...i am so lucky, and willing to help people to buy that. Even not gurantee win la..hehe...I won 30man won shopping voucher from the school contest. Unbelievable. Didn't thought that i can win. Anyway, quite happy for myself. Told ya! i am lucky~
today i played basketball and had dinner with kc. hum...actually nothing to write today~ maybe it's time to start to study for the exam... hehe...
girl, dun be tension;)~ just try your best ok?~ keep it simple, take it easy~

by idiotblue@hotmail.com-------------------------------------------------------------

2005-05-27T15:27:00.000+09:00

i went to bupyeong with friends yesterday and i bought myself a new watch..i don't really wear watch since i used to lost it..=_=...but this seems to be cheap and cute..so i bought it~5000won only~ if you want it , i can take you to the place...haha/promoting pulak~(joke)

2005-05-27T15:25:00.000+09:00

my japanese handbook. hehe..i went to bookstore the other day cos i heard that the engineering book was on sales....but then i end up with buying this japanese language handbook~ study hard yishee~@!!!haha

2005-05-27T01:36:00.000+09:00

good luck girl~...

do you have a dream?

2005-05-26T00:58:00.000+09:00

have you ever dream?
i don't mean the dream when you are sleeping.
have you ever dream?
i mean dream about what you become in the future?
....
dream...
i dream....
day dream....
but ..if there's no dream...
there's no chance for any dream to come true...
so dream..
as much as you can dream...

idiotblue

today i was doing experiment in school. =_=~ i wanted to do the experiment by myself but the lecturer helped us to do it today~ i wanted to reject his help but i couldn't. I don't like him actually. Even he's good to me, but i don't feel good. I don't mean to say that he's a bad person or what ...just that , i don't feel good when lecturer pays extra attention on me.=_+~ crazy~
tomorrow is school festival ~ i don't have to go to school~ assa! but i'll have to study for the friday contest. Er...i hope i can at least get a prize...not number 1 but at least...hehehe...however...i don't really put high hopes since it's not really an important thing . I better play hard this and next week before the exam.~ i can't study like bookworms..er..i don't want to~hehhe...

talking about dream,
what's my biggest dream?
i guess it's to become a writer, then a musician. haha...~ it's not realistic right?~=_=~ better be more realistic... that's why i am taking engineering now. Of course i like chemistry also...~ hum...hehe...sometimes i think it's good to have dream but not too greedy like me...

alright~ that's all for the night~

2005-05-22T18:31:00.000+09:00

all about blog~ this is my blog too. haha..nothing to do today. don't feel like study...so i mess up with this...~ easy blog making...on msn space

2005-05-22T16:04:00.000+09:00

need to remember him...

i hate rainy day~

2005-05-22T15:58:00.000+09:00

raining makes things dim and down....
that's why i hate rainy day...
woke up at 11.20 am...pretty late today...since i was a little sick...
but i am totally fine today.
finished my homework...
played keyboard...
listening to music now...
well, this is my sunday at home...
....rainy sunday....

2005-05-22T15:46:00.000+09:00

kpop~ this is a nice band..i didn't know about them before this~ just logged into bugs and found out good music....hum...music..heheh..

2005-05-22T15:44:00.000+09:00

tackey and tsubasa's new album~haven't listen to it~let's see

2005-05-22T15:41:00.001+09:00

shibata jun~ click on and listen~

2005-05-22T15:41:00.000+09:00

This band is okay too~ my type~;)

2005-05-22T15:38:00.000+09:00

leads~japanese boy band..not bad...

2005-05-22T15:34:00.000+09:00

today i logged into music bugs ...accidentally listened to her song~ the title of this song means illusion in chinese...i don't know is it the same meaning in japanese...but it is a nice song~

2005-05-17T22:15:00.000+09:00

well~ today i watched a movie,title~"if only"..It's a love story that i read on a magazine in library last week~ it sounds like a nice one , so i downloaded and watched it today~ it was really a nice love story~
This story is a little fantasy~ It's about a guy losing his girlfriend and started to realize how much he loved her as she died in an accident~ He was so down but when he woke up on the next day~ he found that she's still alive~ he was given a chance to appreciate his girlfriend~ This time, instead of his girlfriend , he died in the accident~ it was really a nice love story~ With nice songs too~ "I love you , you love me, don't ask why, just take the gift..." nice song right? romantic~:)
That's for today!

what's a real girl like?

2005-05-09T12:09:00.000+09:00

I am not a girlish girl~ that's what i know about myself~
What's a girlish girl like? er... i like accessories~i like to play with my hair...i like lots of girlish stuff but i don't act like a girlish girl~ that's it~??? heheh..i think i am a little weird~^^ or perhaps only my mom know me the best~

I called home yesterday~ it was mother's day!^^ I don't really know how we get into that talk~(me and my mom), mom asked me if i still keep up with my extraodinary behaviour or action...heheh...I do, i do have lots of strange action but i don't know why i did it. Perhaps i wanted people to pay me some attention~ or perhaps i just don't want to be the same as anybody else. I think that people should be special and so am i ~i want to be special so i act strange~ i guess. hehehe...
I am weird...see see see? now my thoughts are weird too~ thinking about being a girlish girl? thinking about dieting to have a nice body? haha...that's normal for a girl right? Every girl wanted to have a nice body~ not even girl but also guys~^^

It's time to update some pics on the photo gallery~ check it out friends~^^

2005-04-25T10:17:00.000+09:00

my shoes...~i washed it yesterday~but still look dirty right?~ er...cos it's white...

2005-04-25T10:16:00.000+09:00

breakfast~ today i took rice~ with tuna and kim~^^ this is korean style~hehehe...anyway, it was my breaklunch~^^ today is monday~start the monday with full energy!!!

new hair style for summer?

2005-04-24T21:43:00.000+09:00

hehe..another nice weekend with my best friends~ we went to meodong on friday and i did something on my hair~=_=...(mom must think that it's only a waste of money..hehe)I did zig zag perm...~ i like it very much.. i don't really know if it's the right style for me but ~ it's fun to have a new hair style. I can't wait to see other people's reaction in school tomorrow.. but then i think they won't really feel that i changed...~
well, middle test end . "E.N.D."end is actually the new begining. Let's go with a nice start!!!

examination

2005-04-21T18:53:00.000+09:00

___________________________examination___________________________
can you tell me what is examination? Is it something to test your ability? or something to give you chance to cheat? hum....whatever it is, it's going to end tomorrow and i feel like stop studying today~hehe...
_______________________________end_______________________________
i am going out with friends after test tomorrow. isn't that nice?~ but i am still in an exam mode. I studied in school these days...since there're friends and seniors...and i really do enjoy life in school. It's kinda fun. And besides that, i eat alot and my wallet is getting slimmer. Look! I took a greentea flavour Ice-cream today!!!no money no money...hehe..
The weather was getting warmer last few days but getting colder today... and it's kinda weird since i keep on sleeping if i am at home...crazy!!! what's wrong? keep on sleeping??? am i ok?haha..maybe okay~ sleeping is actually good for skin, am i right? alright~ that's for today...bye bye yishee and good luck for the test tomorrow!!!hurray! It's going to end!__________________________i.d.i.o.t..b.l.u.e._____________________

~^all aboout study^~

2005-04-14T23:29:00.000+09:00

no stress please~ this is what i think when i am studying.
everybody has a same brain, maybe the size can be different but their all have the same function, the difference is the way we use our brain.
Today i studied with senghan 오빠 . he was so so so tension since he need to get good result this semester. Erm..everybody wants good result~ i know that .I hope i can get the scholarship also! but then...the more you think about the result, the more pressure you get..and then ~chemical reaction...1mole of pressure +1 mole of pressure=2mole of pressure =_=...no way that you can study with that much of pressure...
no stress please~ i am going to study now. hehe...no stress. study is fun~ if you think that it is!

___hungry_day_____

2005-04-12T22:40:00.000+09:00

_today i took milk and carrot as breakfast_ then i went to school ...............wah! so hungry during 12~ after the first class!!!
took bread as lunch.....cause my friend bought me that .....-_-;;
damn hungry after the lab lesson~~~~~~~ at about 4 something , took ramyeon with kc, but i think i ate most of it since i was so so hungry.....crazy! i was hungry again at 6!!!! Took dinner(rice) with kc at 7 something.... Finally i was too full and couldn't finished the rice.... That's my day! what a hungry day!

2005-04-12T22:05:00.000+09:00

_____privacy_____upclose of my room~

2005-04-12T22:04:00.000+09:00

------_____~**privacy**~____------

new look for my blog

2005-04-11T00:21:00.000+09:00

I used up about 4 hours to make this thing~and put this song~hum..i was supposed to study since exam is near, but i kept chatting with my sis and talked on the phone with my another sis ~that's my sunday! er...i know that i should have goe to school to study...in front of compurer...too much to do...
well, today was end. It's tomorrow now....~12.23am...
I am going to sleep and study~tomorrow..hehehehe...

study is not only about study

2005-04-08T01:23:00.000+09:00

this morning i went to school~ i was sick!!!!but! since i thought that we should pass up the general chemistry's report today~ er..(it was yesterday since it's 1.30 am now ) , i ran back home and back to school~ it's about 10 minutes~of my gosh! i was damn tired!!!!!!!!!!However, i did feel better after sine exercise. like mom said~ don't keep on resting when you are sick! get up and fight the virus~haha..
I went to play basketball with kc today ~ again!hheeh...and after the game i felt fresh and like not sick anymore~haha..just a little cough..we went for icecream~ kc bought me the greentea icecream since she lost the game~hehehe...and then we went studying like usual~well, after some exercise, i think i really got myself on study 100%~ concentration was really good!!!heheh...
That's my day! study is not only about study but to study in a right way~ don't give yourself stress but let yourself relax! haheahha....

66

2005-04-06T20:08:00.000+09:00

i think i am really 66 this time. i wanted to study but i can't concentrate since i keep on coughing and sniffling~hum..i guess i better take a deep rest today.
This morning we did an experiment on iodine, and i think it was because of the gas that make me cough so serious~ and after class i came home without umbrella as it was drizzling --------------------i think i am 6 today. want to sleep now. good night--------66------------------

drunk for the first time

2005-04-03T20:26:00.000+09:00

drunk for the first time during MT last friday~ it was an embarrased experience for me... But i guess it's good to get an experience. I guess i start to like basketball now, feel like playing basketball right at this moment. am i crazy or what?heheh...playing basketball was so fun~it's like throwning all of the stress and tension when i make a shoot~I felt relief when the ball get off from my hand...feel like playing it again...
I went to yongsan today because of that mp3. The lcd screen was not functioning~ so i went to the service center. Luckily that person said he will fix and send to my house for me. If it couldn't be fixed, he will change me a new one~ I went there with kc. We went to e-mart again just to spend our time. THen we went to carrefour in Mokdong~ We bought sushi and order a korean noodle's dishes plus a snack~then we talked about boys while eating. haha... Kc likes someone again...well, maybe i like someone too.However, i am so sure that i won't pay any attention at younger guys~ i a not like kc. hehe..even that my classmates said that i look cute in Korean's eyes, i look unmatured for them....but I still think that my thinking and behaviour are mature. Conclusion, matured guys are my type~hahahah....unfortunately, matured guys won't even take a look at me...hahhahaha....that's life~ a funny and interesting one~
yesterday i watced "inogongju"(my mother was a mermaid) on tv. I remembered that i watced it alone last year on my 19th birthday.hum...almostt a year ago...time passed so fast...well! just before i do my homework, i write this and i wish myself a very good luck and all the best for the new week!

idiotblue~

2005-03-31T08:40:00.002+09:00

I got an email from an old friend ,mogan in malaysia this morning. I replied him as i got it~ Long time no see, i wonder how's all my friends over there, on the other side of the world~Hum..seems like everyone is going on a different road and having a different life~since i left form 6, i left sungai petani(my hometown) and lefr malaysia, i've changed alot~It's imposible to tell other things to stay still as i am changing~
It's spring now finally. I think that spring is a nice season. But not as nice as summer! I missed summer like hell...
However, People said that spring is the season to fall in love. I didn't felt that last year...ahaha...maybe not this year too~ maybe... It's like a normal day for me...Summer is even special i think,sincei t is sunny and bright and energetic! like me, just like me~hehe..right?i am a summer girl and only belongs to summer i guess. I don't really like any other season....even i do like snow and sakura and autumn leaves...hehhe...
alright~ that's all for today! see ya yishee!hehe..;)

2005-03-31T08:40:00.001+09:00

2005-03-29T07:46:00.000+09:00

i was sick yesterday. I thought i'd put an alarm for a 30minutes nap yesterday before i close my eyes~but when i woke up , it was 4 in the morning. I slept from 6 to 4 ~ 8 hours~!!!however, since i still felt like sleeping, i kept on lying on my matress and slept until 7~ woke up and take some milk and poridge...i cooked something else too, but don't feel like eating that now...i guess i am really sick this time. Hum..heheh...not really~ i still have energy to study. I guess i better go to school to study before class.;)
well, see ya! take a shower and start a new day!

.....another day..

2005-03-28T01:00:00.000+09:00

yesterday was a nice day~ a nice weekend~
i went out shopping with wen and kc. I bought a nice shoes~;)and a bag i like a lot~I felt so happy yesterday after shopping. and of course we ate alot too. tried the sweet i'd wanted to try these days~ but i won't take a second try on that since i don't like it.haha...~
well, before i went to meongdong with kc and wen, i got a message from senghan 오빠 saying that he will be there too. and he expect to see us there.haha..it was kind of a concidence meeting he and his friends after we came out from avatar.
took a nice lunch and dinner and a nice shopping , then we went home.
that's my weekend~:) a nice one~
well! keep the spirit up for tomorrow's class!good night!

2005-03-23T20:46:00.000+09:00

there's only success~

reformat ---zzz

2005-03-23T20:21:00.000+09:00

alright! i learned about formating computer in school today~ however, i'd already know how to do it since last year~
Hum, formating computer--this makes me feel like formating my life ...
i am going to reformat my life from tomorrow~
:) hehe....
one two three go!
i want to sleep at 12pm and wake up at 6 am and do at least 50 sit ups before i go to school.~so that i can be healthy and...can lose weight. hahah.. but the main purpose to exercise is to get a fresh mind before go to school . and since i eat alot these days~ i think i need to use what i eat too..
and then, i will open my purse for lunch in school with friends for about 2000won a day~ then 2000won times 30days~ i need approximately 60000for a month --->only for the food...I will have to eat at home for the weekend so that i can save some money~ Er...not sure can or not...since i will be going out with friends for the weekend too...
Then i have to save my phone bill...I will take off the msn to save 3000won, and other things to save some money. and also that international phone card, i will only use one card in a month. er..what else? transport fees is okay, since i don't use it as often as before. and then..ah ha! my liquid paper...i lost two in a week and i bought a new one today, it cost 2000won each~ that's about 6 ringgit malaysia~ and i lost two , it's about 12 ringgit. i can live a week with that amount of money in malaysia.=_=;;;
feel so bad....
reformating life...
one two three...
I am going to revise everything that i learned in a day, and pre-revision...:>~everyday! i think that i can be as good as i want! i believe in myself~
remember, wining or losing is your decision! No pain, No gain~!com'on girl, you can do it!

^^NO LIMIT^^

2005-03-22T22:57:00.000+09:00

today is ~ er...~ wait let me think~ Tuesday~and it's 10.58 p.m. now~
i just finished revising something ~and did some pre-revision ~well, i hope i can understand the lesson better tomorrow. hum...~ I did experiment today, and it was quite success. Since i like experiment so much, i think i chose the right department for myself.
limit or no limit? i saw this in my sister's blog~ well, talking about limit~ yea! there're things that we should put limit on.. but there are also things that we shouldn't ... like our ability~ our mind power. i want to do things as well as i can~ i think that everyone have the same brain and same ability, the thing is ~ some put mental block and bla bla bla~ those stupid limit for themselves~ that's why they cannot be good in something. yishee should never put limit on her ability! i know i can do it if i want to~
alright,that's what i think today~
end of today in another~49minutes~
hi tomorrow in another 49 minutes~
gotta sleep earlier today~

today is sunday

2005-03-20T22:50:00.000+09:00

i went out with wen and kc yesterday~ they went to buy handphone. well, just after a nice sport dancing class, i went to yongsan with them. And before that dancing class, i had japanese class. It was quite interesting learning the katagana and hiragana even i knew them since i was small. I am still not really good in them, so i guess i better study them by reading the lyrics of japanese song. that will be the easiest way to memories~;)
The dancing lesson was really fun and ~ i felt so free on that class because there's no stress or tension. Sport is really a need for human~;)i think,hahah...i learned cha cha cha that day. erm..there's 3 things i learn but i can only remember two of the name of the steps ~ time and cross. what's the other...hum...
After class i went to yongsan with wen and kc and liyan~ end up with shopping in e-mart and cooked spagetti in Kc's. and the next morning, today~ we went to liyan's for bak kut teh~;) I guess eat and cook are things that we do when we get together. haha...scott was there too, but he don't really seems to enjoy the bak kut teh...
and then we played cards a while. Well, i forgot what's the game but it was quite fun. However, it depends on luck more than strategy~
after everything i came home and do homework until now. And of course chatting with my little sister~;) she did a good blog too. I think that she is really similiar to me... except one thing, she's smarter~:P
hehhe..alright, that's for today~

DYTC?hehehe..

2005-03-09T23:08:00.000+09:00

new life in DYTC~ well! yeap!i wanted to go into university but at last i am in a college before that! Whatever! it's nice to be here too~i hope i can really adapt well like those seniors~even my korean language is not that good. hum..today we did the first experiment, the one to break and bend a tube. it's kinda interesting. we got new lab coat???dunno what they call that ,and also a glasses(looks like for ski one!) , quite cool. at least when we are doing experiment,we look like proffesional~;)hahahah....just the look huh?!
well, and then i went for analytical chemistry, and computer class. all were fine. I also went to a study group interview today. hum.. guess they were kinda worry that i can't understand what they say and they interview me like..er...a ...foreigner?should i be saying like that?well it's not bad at all! just that they were tolerating with me. i don't know whether i will be accept in the group or not ,but if do, i will be damn busy then . i have to be in school after class until 10:30 everynight~er...a little worry but then i still go for it because i think there's things to learn. nothing is imposible right?and i know how to take care of myself. hum, anyway, if i am not accepted~then nevermind. i will still keep it up in my study! no pain no gain! fight for what you want and you will get it .
that day i watched a program on discovery channel, there's a man who claimed that he have the strongest arm and hand. well, he was a skinny kid when he's in highschool. being bullied. but see?he's a strong man now. how can that be? is it strong from physical? the answer is , mind power. the strongest thing is not the body but the mind. the man explained that he keep telling himself there's nothing that he cannot do, he can do it! so he did it~ well, his words really motivated me;)~ com'on! i am still young ,i should go for my dream. if there's a will there's a way! i know that i can do it if i want. It's all my decision. It's all on my own hand.
alright, i think my life have about 80degree's changes~and i think it's kinda okay for this moment. Still energetic to go on!
I want to call home but no international phone card, guess i have to wait~ well by the way i can save some money first:)
i wanna sleep now~:) i wish myself to have a nicer day tomorrow!

2005-02-28T22:20:00.000+09:00

昨天，早上就去做义工。2点多，和可佳去龙山买了一个自己想拥有的mp3。不懂是不是太宠自己，要什么就会去买。然后晚上就去了那个和老师的派队。主题是~“funky...what what"忘了。我想不到自己会是最funky的一个。其实我穿得挺平常的~个人自己觉得。
今天，吃了，跑步，还有……折星星。好希望自己会有一间房~可是，还是不要太妄想~
好啦!不想写太多。
晚安

what do you think?

2005-02-26T16:59:00.000+09:00

my life is getting into another new start in dong yang technical college before i enter university. well, i can't say that it's not a good start, i guess there must be a reason why i need to finish this road before another. There's a reason! so i gotta make this a new and fresh good start!~ this is how i live, this is what my life is for..right?hehhe....
i met a group of nice korean friends these days, i really had good time when i hang out with them. maybe this is what they call fate~ ;) it's not that you can be close with everyone, but you are meant to be close with someone. this is the thing;)~
cool, i think i am enjoying my life so far. But i need to change... i need to be a little more serious on things that i need to be serious..hehhe...~it's a secret, i can't write here...
well well well, 3 months electric bills to pay at once!oh gosh...suddenly i become a poor girl and can't hang out too much for the coming month...~ it's ok it's ok~ all i need to do is save money for this month~i wish i am clever enough to find part time job...but i keep on failing in this thing... i wonder why? hehehe...
i am going to write a letter home, it's a long time since my last letter..
com'on girl! let's go ~ to a new life~

2005-02-21T14:35:00.000+09:00

this photo was taken on 17 february 2004 in The language center of Seoul National University. Niti and me.

2005-02-21T03:01:00.000+09:00

現在是2005年2月21日淩晨3點鈡。我還不能睡覺。因爲我不能睡覺。因爲……有理由就是了。
今天也好像挺冷的。希望明天不再那麽冷了。希望冬天真正的過了。希望春天來了。明天，我想去跑步，拍照。
明天，我希望自己開心。

2005-02-18T00:52:00.000+09:00

昨天很长，我觉得。
今天刚开始，
昨天的我，
去跑步，
去拍照，
去山上吹冷风
去山上看小说。
或许因为自己做了很多事，
觉得昨天很长。
今天，好吗？
嗯……很好~

2005-02-18T00:39:00.001+09:00

当我从这里，

望上去，

我觉得很自由……

2005-02-18T00:39:00.000+09:00

我不懂，
这是冬天的蓝天，
还是春天的蓝天……
然而，
我觉得，
蓝天很美……

2005-02-18T00:26:00.000+09:00

冬·春

在冬天和春天之间，

在公园里跑步的人，

很少，

所以很冷清，

很寂寞。

在冬天和春天之间，
在公园里跑步的人，
只有几个，
然而因为他们，
没那么寂寞。

2005-02-17T15:56:00.000+09:00

all about me... this is my new desktop ... the sunflower is my window media player:>

情人节？

2005-02-14T22:15:00.000+09:00

情人节不关我事。今天在学校拍毕业照。不是大学毕业照，只是语文过程毕业照。一年半，已经一年半了。时间真的是那么残酷，就那么快地将把我在那里的一切化为回忆。以后，我都不会去那里，除了去看老师们。我，在那里上课的梦~早就碎了。然而，我的梦，没有碎。因为我有新的开始。人生的路，总不是一条的。不一定要走那条路，才能成功；也不是每个走那条路的人，成功。
今天情人节，我想买东西给自己，可是最终，不懂自己要什么，买了一个自己喜欢的香蕉味牛奶。就是照片那个。虽然没有昨天哪个的包装美，价钱便宜150won。其实不在乎价钱，我喜欢这罐的味道。买了牛奶，我上后三去拍照。已经很夜了，虽然有路灯，却少不了那阴沉沉的感觉。一开始我不太敢上去，毕竟是一个女生。可是那时候，有个大概小我一两岁的男生走了上去。所以我乘机跟着他上去。那个人去跑步，我，去拍照。在上面吹冷风。好自由！我在山上喝牛奶。嘻嘻，就是这样，香蕉味牛奶更好喝！我在想，马来西亚没有买这种牛奶，以后回去就没得喝了。那个男生先跑下去做别的运动，我发现没人了，就下山回家。
这是我的一天。情人节快乐！

2005-02-14T10:48:00.000+09:00

happy valentine day to yishee today~

2005-02-13T19:13:00.000+09:00

novel i love~

2月13日

2005-02-13T18:26:00.000+09:00

今天，早上10点56分左右起床。然后躺在被上看数学。然后看藤井树的小说《这城市》……我爱看小说。买了这本半年，却还没开始看。今天终于开始看了。我发现自己真得很喜欢藤井树的手笔。他，仍然是我的偶像……拍了张那本书的照片……
我又去后山跑步了。一个人。感觉真好。只跑了1.5公里，流汗了。哈哈。好久没有流汗的感觉。然后我脱掉外套，外面的气温应该是2度，算还好，不太冷吧。我只穿这一套短袖的衣服和运动裤，靠在一个柱子上，望着蓝天，觉得一切好美好美。一个人，静静的坐着看天空，蓝天的美，比不上夜空美。多希望今天晚上可以在那里看星空。然而，晚上一个人，是没可能到哪里去。想想，又好像不是没可能。或许过了冬天，我会。我吹着冷风。或许是因为刚运动，感觉不到冷。或许是因为被冷风吹得麻痹，所以不冷。
跑完步，买了一罐自己最爱的香蕉味牛奶喝。真好喝。喝下去，有一种幸福的感觉。我，突然好幸福。
今天的路程，走到现在，下午6点25分。我，在7点要开始念书了。明天是情人节，要送自己什么呢？

2005-02-13T18:05:00.001+09:00

my computer and my cutie bear

2005-02-13T18:05:00.000+09:00

in front of me~:>

2005-02-13T18:04:00.000+09:00

well, my stuff~ it's a lot i know

2005-02-13T18:03:00.001+09:00

closer look at it!;)

2005-02-13T18:03:00.000+09:00

my favourite milk~ banana flavor. this is 850won for one~ 250ml and about 175kcal for one bottle:Phehehe...

2005-02-12T18:52:00.000+09:00

今天，只睡了4个小时，却十分精神。9点上课，12点放学，去剪头发。拨电话，和阿姨聊天……挺开心。突然，想运动，去后山跑步。原来运动，能让我更轻松。今天，很冷。我不懂自己是开心，还是伤心，还是没有感觉。只知道自己，活得充实。
恋爱的感觉……
或许要等到我遇上……
我才会懂吧……
也或许我懂……
却不想去了解……
蓝色对我来说，
是很美……
我喜欢蓝色的天空……
然而，
我还是比较喜欢……
有星星的夜空……
总觉得当一个人，
喜欢自己，
我，会对那个人反感……
或许，
我不喜欢……
被喜欢的感觉……
只喜欢……
自己去喜欢的感觉……

现在，
不了解自己的我，
只有等自己，
慢慢的了解自己。

2005-02-11T15:14:00.000+09:00

february desktop

新年初二

2005-02-11T01:38:00.000+09:00

除夕，初一，初二~也就是今天，都过得很好。还挺开心。就是拼命吃，然后玩牌，然后睡觉。像猪！！！可是新年除了这个就没事做了。
明天又得帮老师做东西！其实我很不想做~可是没办法，就是得做。不懂为什么，又想静下来了。因为我很想把自己想读书的心情收拾回来吧。
害怕自己没有心情念书。害怕自己，读不好。就是这样啦~
不写了！不想写太多~不懂为什么，没什么心情~
其实今天已经初三了~
因为现在是~1点38分。
晚安

2005-02-08T13:51:00.000+09:00

meaningful

2005-02-07T11:21:00.000+09:00

早安！现在是早上11点14分，我就快要上学了。信，还没有去寄。我想等戏去寄掉它~嘻嘻！真不好意思，我的朋友久等了！今天，依然听着t.o 的歌~我觉得听了很有精神……就是让我有阳光的开始今天的路程。今天是在language center上课的最后一天，过了农历新年，就是考试了。考完试就要开始念major,或许那时候会比较辛苦哦！怎样都好！加油哦！一定行！我信自己！
今天的天气冷吗？管它！它冷有关我屁事……哈哈。开玩笑，我是真得很怕很怕冷的……因为冷让人发抖，又让人迟钝。真的很不好。期待着夏天的阳光~哎呀！好想念你哦，夏天~为什么你还不来啊？春天太干燥，我不是很喜欢。有人说春天是恋爱的季节，我却不那么觉得。真的不~也不懂为什么……那只是好像失去了生命之后的另一个生机的开始……不是吗？
冬天~886~不要再见了~雪，想念我的话，来夏天找我吧！嘻嘻！
今天的一天，刚要开始！出发了！

不懂

2005-02-04T02:32:00.000+09:00

今天是星期五。凌晨2点21分……
今天是-2度，还不太冷。前几天下了一场雪，那场雪好美好美。雪花在空中飞翔……好自在。看了，我的心情都好了一半。那天下雪，可是没有学的痕迹。雪，降到地上就消失了……那天-20度。春天不远了，今天是2月4日，进入春天了。虽然还是那么冷……希望春天，会很好。春天，是个希望。然而，我却是多么的期待夏天。
最近，有一个网友，误会了我的话，不和我说话了。我很讨厌别人让自己觉得内疚……我，不懂自己应该做什么。他上网，看到我在，发了一封让我更内疚的短信《你在？那我闪啦！》因为我而不上网？我做错了什么事啊？算啦！结果我发了一封邮件给他，希望他不再误会下去。我，只会解释一次，那是我的原则。算啦！如果他还是如此。
听着张敬轩的格。2点30分……我在这里，不想睡觉。不懂自己要做什么，就来贴东西。

today,3rd february 2005

2005-02-03T16:41:00.000+09:00

place: language center computer lab
date:3-2-2005
time:rest time

well well well, i am currently in school now. suddenly feel a little hungry. hum...i had a milk and some cornflakes this morning...haha..why so easy to get hungry today..why? don't know.gotta save money from now on...
after monday , will be holiday and ...then exam and then... my life in this language center end...
comes to the end, this is not the word i should use for myself now.. because i just come to the start at this moment. everything that i will face in another semester is the start. one end is the sign of a new start! fighting!
keep it up , keep it simple, take it easy~

yishee

翅膀

2005-02-02T01:42:00.000+09:00

听着我喜欢的《翅膀》…
今天，我过得好吗？嗯。还好。虽然有点冷，依然过得很好。这几天会很冷，可是冬天，终于都要过了，我是这么想。或许我已经冷到麻木了。或许因为冷，我失去了感觉。我只懂，很冷。
过了这个冬天，我就要离开那个温暖的language center。我不爱读韩文，可是我很喜欢那个地方，很喜欢那些日子。离开了那里，我不懂自己何时会再回来。像我离开了家，回去时，总有好多的变化。就算哪个地方不变，我依然会随着日子改变。我在长大。长大的过程是这样的吗?嗯……我觉得是。
最近想家，或许是因为冷，或许是因为生病，或许是因为春节快到了。我不懂，就有一股冲动很想回家。然而，我却只能告诉自己，我长大了，不能留在那个暖窝里。是的。我要懂得照顾自己。不要再那么以来了，懂吗？……嗯……
听着林俊杰的歌。每次都是这样，因为他的歌，我总觉得自己回到从前。今天回家途中，抬头望望，觉得天上星星很多很多，好漂亮。好想念那些看星星的日子，和朋友在一起，那时的自己多开心。想着，我不懂是开心吗……自己笑了。冬天过了，春天没那么冷，可以自己去看星星。我是这么想，可是不懂能不能做到。我不懂。我，不是住在过去的一个人……然而，我喜欢回味过去。虽然有点苦，可是苦中却有那么一点点的甜味。我很满足了。
老实说，我还是很希望自己有机会上大学。我写的故事，都是我对自己前途的憧憬……上不到大学，或许我会写不完小说。我，这么想过。啊！我，还是那么幸运吗？我不懂……希望是。
今天是2月2日了，我没有打电话给丝婷说生日快乐，我也不懂为什么。
我很希望时间冻结在快乐的日子里，冻结一切一切，如果可以的话。
可是，是不可能的。

떠나기전에 하고 싶다는 말

2005-02-02T01:02:00.000+09:00

떠나기전에…
눈이 펑펑 내리는 것을 보고 일년전의 겨울에 한박눈이 오는 날이 눈에 선했다. 그날 친구들과 선생님들과 같이 운동장에서 눈 싸움을 하는 모습, 그리고 다들 함께 눈사람을 만드는 모습, 범벅이 된 친구들과 선생님들의 웃음, 그것을 모두 내 머릿속에서 맑게 남아있다. 이제야 시간이 빨리 지나간다는 것을 실감이 난다. 언어교육원에서 일년반의 언어수학이 끝나가고 있다. 일년반이 길다고 할 수는 없고 짧다고 해도 짧지 않은 것 같다. 그동안 우리가 마음이 따뜻하고 친절한 선생님들의 품에서 살았지만 곧 이 따뜻한 집을 떠나야 할 시점일 것이다.
그날, 한국에 처음 왔을때 한국에 대한 아는 것 하나도 없는 우리가 힘든 오리엔테이션을 겪고 언어교육원에 처음으로 방문을 했다. 그땐 가을 이였다. 나뭇잎의 색깔이 아직도 변하지 않았지만 시원한 날씨를 느끼고 “나의 첫 가을이네!”하고 생각했다. 일년내내 여름만 있는 나라에서 살아왔던 사람들에게 계절이 참 신기한 것일수밖에 없다. 나도 마찬가지다. 그리고, 그땐 인사말밖에 못해서 한국사람을 만날때마다 무슨 말을 할지 모르고 당황스러운 경우가 수없이 많았다. 우리는 말레이시아반에서 공부하니까 한국말로 대화하는 기회가 선생님들과 하는 때밖에 없다.그래서 우리는 다른반 학생들보다 한국말 말하기 실력이 좋지 않았으나 선생님들이 애를 써서 가르쳐 주셔서 고마움을 느꼈다. 내가 잊을 수 없는 선생님들의 말씀이 바로 “한국 친구를 많이 만나세요”,또는 “말레이시아말을 하지 말고 한국말을 하세요”라는 것이다. 선생님들이 거듭 그런 말씀을 하셔도 우리에게는 그것을 실행하기가 무척 어려운 일이였다. 한국친구를 만나는 것이 한국어 선생님을 만나는 것 밖에 못하고, 한국말로 말하려면 인사말밖에 못해서 그랬다.
단풍이 떨어지고 겨울이 되어가고 있었다. 나는 겨울이 어떤 계절인지 많이 상상을 했고 눈을 너무 보고 싶었다. 하지만 그땐 눈이 오지도 않고 날씨만 계속 추워지고 있는 것 같았다. 나는 원래 더위를 좋아하니까 추위가 나에겐 적인것을 느꼈다. 춥기때문에 나는 정신을 못 차렸고 몸이 항상 떨리기만 했다. 말레이시아에서 산에 가야 최저기온이 12도쯤 되고 한국의 겨울은 0하 몇도가 돼서 난 죽을 줄 알았다. 언제한번,한국친구와 놀러갈때는 나만 이상하게 옷을 몇 벌이나 입었다. 그랬더니 친구가 “넌 그렇게 추워? 오늘 별로 안 추운데…” 하고 말해서 그땐 난 쥐구망이라도 있으면 숨고 싶었다. 첫눈이 내리는 날, 기억이 나지 않지만 12월 8일인 것 같았다. 난 그날엔 한자 재시를 봤다. 눈이 와서 정신이 없어졌기때문에 한자 시험을 망쳤다. 믿을 수 없는 일이였지만 어려서부터 한자를 공부한다고 해서 한자 시험을 망칠 수 없는 법이 없다. 나는 정서가 넘쳐흐르는 사람이라서 기분에 따라 일을 하는 것 같다.첫눈이 많이 내렸다. 하늘에서 온 하얗 눈송이 날아있는 것을 보고 “겨울이 이렇게 아름답구나!”하는 생각이 든다.
추운 겨울날을 힘들게 지냈고 벛꽃이 폈다. 교실에서 창밖으로 바라보면 벛꽃은 사진속에 보는 것보다 아름답다고 생각한다. 봄날의 교실은 향기로운것 같았다.꽃의 향기가 가득 찬 봄날엔 참 즐겁게 살았던것 같다. 그러나 봄 날씨가 따뜻하고 너무나 좋아서 잠이 잘 오는 것 같아, 항상 학교에서 졸렸다. 모든 사람에게 잠이 잘오는 봄은 공부하는 기간이 아니다고 생각 된다.이제 그때를 생각해보면 우리를 가르치신 선생님들이 힘들었겠다.그땐봄은 연애시절이라는 것도 들었다. 원래 이것을 믿지 않는 내가 이제 믿을 수 밖에 없다. 왜냐하면 주변에 이 계절부터 사귀기를 시작 하는 사람이 많는 것 같다. 계절이 참 아름답고 신기하다. 사람의 정서는 계절에 따라 달라진다고 생각된다.
봄날이 날아가, 내가 잘 아는 여름이 드디어 왔다. 여름이 너무 늦게 오지 않나 싶었다.나는 여름을 목이 빠지게 기다렸다.정말 오래기대렸다.나는 여름을 좋아한다. 여름날에 태어났기때문인가? 더운나라에서 살아오기 때문인가? 나도 잘 모르겠다.한국사람들에게 무더운 여름이였지만 나는 해볓이 좋고 땀이 나는 것이 좋다고 생각한다. 옷을 많이 입을 필요 없어서 행동하기가 쉽고 겨울보다 낫다.
여름의 짧은 방학때 고향에 갔다오고 한국은 다시 가을이 되어가고 있었다. 나는 5급 교실에서 창밖의 빨깨지고 있는 가을의 하늘을 보고 일년이 다 지나갔다는 것을 절실히 느꼈다. 나의 두번쩨 가을이였다. 그런데 가을이 너무나 짧았다. 가을이 언제나 짧은 것 같다. 가을이 나도 모르는 사이에 지나갔고 겨울이 조용히 들어왔다.
아까, 교실 창밖에 아직도 눈이 오고 있었다. 아직도 겨울이다. 그러나 이번엔 나는 겨울을 빨리 끝기를 바라지 않는다. 왜냐하면 겨울이 끝나는 날은 바로 우리가 이 따뜻한 집을 떠나야 될 날이기때문이다. 아, 정말 떠나고 싶지 않다. 한국에서 나에게 집이라고 할 수 있는 곳,그리고 부모님이라고 할 수 있는 선생님들을 떠나고 싶지 않다. 하지만 어쩔수 없다. 새롭고 어색한 길으로 출발한후에 난 얼마나 자주 이 따뜻한 곳에 올 것인가? 대답하기 참 어렵다. 지금은 마음이 참 무겁다. 울고 싶다는 생각도 드는 것 같다.
나의 첫겨울,첫가을,첫봄… 내가 다니는 어학당에서 지냈던 4계절이 가장 아름다웠던 날이였다. 이곳에서 자내는 날이 꿈속에 살아있던 것 같다. 나는 꿈에서 깨우고 싶지 않다. 하지만 꿈속에서 살수 있는 시간이 끝날 수 밖에 없다. 교실에서 창밖에 바라보는 것을 ,나중에 할 기회가 없지만, 이 일년반은 지울 수 없는 추억이 된어 내 머릿속에서 남아 있다.추억은 내것이다. 추억은 영원하다. 추억을 만들어주는 사람들에게 고맙다는 말을 하고 싶다. 선생님들에게 고맙다고 싶다……

2005-01-16T23:32:00.000+09:00

desktop's new view with a new window media player's skin~cool?

2005-01-15T00:05:00.000+09:00

LAST WEEK'S DESKTOP:>

2005-01-15T00:04:00.001+09:00

MY NEW DESKTOP~

2005-01-15T00:04:00.000+09:00

YISHEE'S DESKTOP~NICE?

Summer snow

2005-01-13T13:36:00.000+09:00

Went for a trip to DMZ ~ the JSA, south and north korea's border ~
nice trip with nice and cool army there. haha..

well, yesterday, exam wasn't tough but i didn't do well.
i promised myself that i will study harder for maths and i don't think that hard work couldn't win the korean's students because i think i am not as stupid as they think.:>haha...
Well, it's fine to go to DYTC, not SNU. even SNU is my desired university and i won't have chance to go into it again~ maybe for the rest of my life. However ,that's not what i should be sad or dissapointed of. What i should do now is proof how much i can do..:> right? yea yea, i know right la.:P haha..

I got Syidah's letter yesterday. She did online yesterday but we didn't chat alot because the yahoo messenger was really a problem software. That's why i prefer msn or other chatting software. hum...-_-;;;lousy yahoo~

Still cold here and really cold here these days. The weather maintain below 0 celcius... I hate cold ... and i feel like dying in cold. -_-;;; Please go away winter~ please please please.Unless there's some snow.-_-;;Hum.. i wish it snows in summer, that will be superb~cos i love summer and i like snow.:> summer snow.

I want to move to somewhere nearer to DYTC, if can. Since i will not be given the chance to SNU anymore. Maybe those people were right but I still feel like going to the University. It's nothing but a bunch of work for them , but it's everything for me. This is two matters, between university and college. Two different life and experience... Even though there's only a small hope and i am 99% gave up, i still pray for that 1% .

Wish remains as wish, dream remains as dream, and reality remains as reality? there's 5 words for this "CRUEL"!!!
hahah..
end of my diary today:)

2005-01-08T16:15:00.000+09:00

it snows finally in Seoul~ i'd been waiting for the snow for so long~ wait wait! gotta write down the date of today~ 8 january 2005~ it start to snow this afternoon..makes me feel so so so happy~well, since i'd been wish for snow for so long~:>and today i'd downloaded msn plus ~ so nice and cute and fun ~perhaps cos of snow, everything seems so good today~ the pic is nice right? i took it as it snows in front of my house~i wish things that coming up will be as fine as the snow~ i love you snow!:> that's what i wanna shout out now! I am listening to boa's valenti, a song that i seldom listen to ~but i found it so nice today and keep listening to the same song ~about 10 times~ haha.. i am nutz~~~~~~~~~~perhaps~^^ yishee love snows...but HATE WINTER~hahahha~ :P alright!

today's diary~today write la!:P

2005-01-05T18:57:00.000+09:00

well well~ today is wednesday. it's not really a good wednesday because i have to finish the bread that i bought that day since it will be expired after today... i can't waste the bread even i feel like eating something else...haha
Had a maths exam, it's actually easy because it was what we did for exercise~ but i think i got some wrong carelessly~ stupid yishee!:Pnonono~ i am not stupid. ehhe..scolding myself stupid will only make myself stupid..~so i cannot do that !
I got a letter from Alexandre gagnon, my old-penpal~ yesterday. and it's his birthday today~:) happy to have such a nice pal~
well~well~ i did 100 sit ups just now and i think i need to plan my life from now on.I wanna start of with doing exercise every morning . and study regularly~er...~talking about studies...i think there's like ~0.00001% chance for us to go straightly into the university....well, i am ready to accept anything that happen in the future and i am sure i can adapt it nice and coolly~:P i am so confident about myself.that's me~!
and i got to know a page to genarate japanese name~~長谷川 Hasegawa (long valley river) 恵津子 Etsuko (given child) this is my name~Etsuko~hahaha, quite nice i think~:) i like it !

2005-01-05T18:48:00.000+09:00

THIS IS A PAGE WHERE U CAN USE THE NAME GENARATOR TO FIND YOUR JP NAME~:p THAT'S MY NAME....

cute things~ 2.0.0.5 new year greeting~

2005-01-01T19:27:00.000+09:00

相信在寒冷的冬天
没有我的祝福
您也一样的快乐
有了我的问候
您会更加幸福
虽然相隔千里
我依然能够看到
您的微笑
充满快乐
美好的新年夜
我为您祝福
我最亲爱的朋友
元旦·快乐
2005年

2005-01-01T19:10:00.000+09:00

this is feng xin zi's page. A page where you can find chinese novel online~ a page where you can write about your story, a page where you can write about your feeling ~nice page^^

KOKORO~

2005-01-01T02:25:00.000+09:00

TAIWANESE FLASH PAGE I LIKE~ KOKORO~^0^~¡

my life series; an uncool fool

2005-01-01T01:07:00.000+09:00

it's one am in the first day of 2005! well, it's a nice start for me!
i think 2005 will be fabulous~ haha. taken so many photo cause too excited i think. well well well. i don't understand why am i so happy about leaving 2004! hahaha! well, just want to write something on the first day! and first hour of a year!good luck yishee!

2005-01-01T00:56:00.000+09:00

hair like crazy girl~

2005-01-01T00:55:00.001+09:00

so happy today? i also dunno why

2005-01-01T00:55:00.000+09:00

new winter coat cause one of mine burnt~ and the cap from moscow!

2005-01-01T00:54:00.000+09:00

same! yishee's pic on 2005~

2005-01-01T00:52:00.000+09:00

haha! me in my room on 2005:) cool huh?well sure ! today is new year! see that ?my keyboard beside me

2004-12-31T08:03:00.000+09:00

it's 8 o'clock in the morning of 31 december 2004 , the last day of dear 2004! i took a picture with this cute winter cap today... well, it's actually from my sis last winter but i didn't really wear it those days. it's cold outside and i don't want my ear to suffer again..so i wear it today. i hope i can finish the school things faster today and go out with friends for the new year celebration!alright yishee !happy new year.